No One explained 30

I am 32 years old and to be quite honest it’s an identity I can’t say I like too much. The saying “You are only as old as feel” comes to mind but I feel 69.

Physical wellness aside, how many of you read a book or had “the talk” about being 30 or any age over 25 for that matter? I use to carry some animosity towards my parental figures, older friends, and even society over not preparing me for this stage. A constant thought was “I have no idea what I am doing out here”. The initial reaction is to fall back on what’s comfortable, what would society want of me right now?

But I live outside of society’s box and hype. I am unmarried (and just learning to date really), I have no children, identify as Bi-sexual, and Ethically non-monogamous fresh out of a Polyamorous relationship.

That doesn’t make me less of anything, but being 30… and having had all the time I needed to achieve other successes such as travel, academic achievement, and vocational goals leave me wondering the all too consuming “What’s next?”. The idea of looking to prior generations came to mind but I’m reminded, this generation is the first of its kind. We marry and have children much later in life (now is later, FYI) and in some cases, we have children with friends over partners. We have careers layered with other careers because we want to work for ourselves and not a corporation. We also indulge in instant gratification (thank you Social Media and the internet).

We will figure it out, that feeling of fear, hopelessness, and maybe even anxiety is okay. No one explained 30, which gives you free will to make it what you want. I find that in the last 2 years this has been where the pressures of societal norms have really started to sink in, but don’t let them. Think about what you want, how you want your story to go, and live your life. I’m not going to say “30 is the new… yadie yadie” because it’s not, 30 is 30. It introduces you to real-life consciences if you are still living like your 20; you will have to actually take care of your health(s) (mental, physical, emotional, financial, and spiritual); you have a career by now perhaps; you have a passport; you likely know what a 401K is now and are planning for your retirement.

No one explained 30, and while that can be frustrating at times I know I’m not alone and that’s comforting to know.



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Welcome! I write about my random life experiences and ponderings here and there. I am a passionate advocate for self-care, love and awareness.